Publisher's Synopsis
A Celebrity's Little Instruction Book is a self-help guide to opening superstores, bedding footballers, getting into every launch, lunch and after-show party then languishing in the Priory counting your residuals. Advice includes?
Good way to leave a nightclub: with a supermodel in a Limo. Bad way to leave a nightclub: with a can of Tennent's Super in a wheelie bin
Essentials for the airport VIP lounge: shades, baby, Louise Vuitton luggage, 24 condoms filled with heroin in stomach
Remember: the more hyphens in the surname, the lower the IQ
Be aware that actual knowledge of the subject you talk about on TV is a hindrance. Real experts are those you leech off to further your career.