Publisher's Synopsis
...I had trouble with projects and essays and tests and when I asked for help, in general, I was told to work harder. My parents and teachers knew I was smart. I grew up thinking that the reason my grades weren't good was because I didn't work hard enough. I didn't "Grin and bear it" as my father (May he live and be well) would say. Actually, this turned out to be great advice for me. Mainly because there are many things I have had to do in my life and forcing myself through it was the only way to achieve results. Unfortunately, as I discovered the hard way in my teenage years, forcing oneself in general is a useful tool but can cause a backlash if done too far. I forced myself to get through high school in spite of my hatred for it. This caused serious mood swings and depression. Even to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was undiagnosed, not on medication and suffering from an illness I didn't know I had... ...the number one thing they said in the hospital that causes people to go in is self-medicating. This includes things like going off or changing your medicine. There are two things I recommend people in any psychiatric lock down do. One, be honest with the doctors/staff. They can tell when you're not and they really are trying to help you. Two, comply. The sooner you do whatever they tell you to do the sooner you can leave. This includes, showering, sleeping, eating, taking medicine, doing arts and crafts, going to group therapy, etc. I know that those are hard things to do in a situation like that but it is really the best. Even harder is acceptance. No one wants to admit there's something wrong with them. Especially when it's mental. There's still a lot of stigma about mental illness and the accompanying feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and shame.... ....What becomes dangerous is when a person becomes so low, they get unhealthy thoughts/feelings. For example, feeling like they don't want to live. The person doesn't have thoughts of harming themselves their just in so much pain they can't take it anymore. My recommendation is for anyone in this situation to stop whatever their doing and get professional help immediately. Even worse than this though is having suicidal thoughts. If a person has suicidal thoughts even just every now and then they need to get to an ER and get help now. An emergency situation should be avoided at all cost because you might not be as lucky and blessed as me.... ....eople talk about going "crazy" or "psycho" without giving it much thought. What about when that really happens though. It's not so funny. Dangerous and scary are more accurate descriptions. I had a big temper growing up. Rage is a symptom of mania and I was often manic and depressed in my teenage years. Generally, there are warning signs of mania and depression. I can feel them coming and when necessary check myself into an ER. Psychosis wasn't like that for me. I had no warning. This was different. I lost all sense of self. I heard a voice in my head. (I thought it was my own.) I was fighting that voice every day. Once again, I didn't realize what was going on. Once again, I was plagued on a constant basis until I snapped. I stopped fighting the voice and just gave into it completely. Turns out that voice was about as pure evil as it gets. .... "Family and friends have called this honest, intense, and brave." I hope it helps.
