A new spin on delivering IT infrastructure, this humorous look at the worst methods in IT sounds off against the limitations and small thinking that exists in IT departments today. Poking fun at the sacred cows and catch phrases used by nonthinking managers, including "project management," "risk management," "help desks," and "cost management," this humorous collection of quips provides definitions, abbreviations, and acronyms for the IT lingo most commonly used today.
| ISBN | 9077212213 | | DEWEY edition | DC21 | | ISBN13 | 9789077212219
(What's this?) | | Pages | 128 | | Publisher | van Haren Publishing | | Volumes | 1 | | Imprint | van Haren Publishing | | Published in | Zaltbommel | | Format | Paperback | | Height (mm) | 230 | | Publication date | 30 Apr 2005 | | Width (mm) | 150 | | DEWEY | 004.068 | | Academic level | Professional / Scholarly |
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Brian Johnson Paul Wilkinson Project managing ITSM from hell (implement ITIL that works!!) IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 1 Sejanus was a liar but so fine a general of lies that he knew how to marshal them into an alert and disciplined formation which would come off best in any skirmish with suspicions or any general engagement with the truth. Robert Graves from I, Claudius IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 2 5 Thanks... In keeping with latest publishing traditions to thank everyone connected with a book, Brian and Paul wish to thank those featured in the following short list: Rudolf, Comet, Cupid, Vixen, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Donner and Blitzen, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, Silver and Scout, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Smelly, Fatty, Snotty, Wally, Bashful and Doc, Alex, Pippa, Sue, Jacqueline, Claudia, Kate and Naomi, Hugh Hefner, Earthworm Jim and Peter the puppy, Queen pulsating, bloated, festering, sweaty, malformed, pus-filled Slug-for-a-Butt, Psycrow, Evil the Cat, Professor Monkey for a Head, the Justice League of America, Eric and Erica, Mick McCarthy, Vic Halom, Peter Reid, Ian Porterfield, John Stewart, mam and dad, Paul's mum ( they're posh in his house) and dad, Dillon, the Men from UNCLE, Eric and Ernie, Mark van Onna, Bob the Killer Goldfish, Robert van Oirschot, Paddington, Michael Foot, Tony Benn, Theresa Hyphenated-Surname, Bob Stokoe, Colin, all Scottish Goalkeepers, James Stewart, Dalglish, Basil d'Oliveira, Frasier, Daphne, Niles, Martin, the gorgeous Ros and (especially) Maris, Sandra, Liz, Annelise, Geoff Boycott, Willie Donachie, Super Dave, Ivor Cutler, Roy Harper, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, George of the Jungle, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Tin-Tin, Tex Avery, Tom and Jerry, Champion the Wonder Horse, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Titch, Ginger, Posh, Scary, Sporty and Baby, John, Paul, George and Ringo, Johnny Ringo, the Ringo Kid, Wyatt Earp, Pans People, Legs and Co., John Carpenter, Johnny Rotten, Joe Strummer, Neil Young, Richard Thompson, Tom Waits, Ry Cooder, Mick, Keith, Charlie, Brian, Mick (the other one), Ronnie and Bill, Fred, Barney, Betty and Wilma, lots of names to make you think we are intellectuals such as Camus, Kierkegaard, Mies van der Rohe, Sartre and Eddie Murphy, Stacy and Leslie, Irene, Enid Blyton, Capt. W.E. Johns, , APM, PUG, GUP, GUPPY, PUPPY, SPAM and SMUG, SMERSH, THRUSH, BUSH and MUSH little doggies, Hush Puppies, Slush Puppies, Posh Slushies, Aspirin, Penicillin, Oxytocin, Wednesdays, Marilyn Monroe, Monica Lewinsky (no jokes, they'd just leave a bad taste in the mouth), Hans Ringnalda, Wellington, Boot, Marlon and Maisie, Wellington (the other one), Winston Churchill, Avon, Cally, Jenna, Blake (even if he was a bit wet), Gan, Vila, Zen, Orac, Servalan (phwoar) Einstein, Eisenstein, Frankenstein and Stein remover and last but not least, Kylie Minogue. IT Service-bw-goed.xpd 17-05-2004 14:24 Pagina 4 7 6 Contents Thanks... 5 Foreword 11 The cast of characters 13 1 Highlights and heroes in the history of project management 17 1.1 Project management - What is it? 19 1.2 Why do it? 22 1.3 Where it all began 24 1.4 Great moments in the history of project management 25 1.5 Heroes of project management 27 1.6 The frog that turned out to be a frog despite all the kissing 27 2 Risk management 29 2.1 Risk management - What it is 31 2.2 PRAM, PRAT, CRAMM and CRIB 31 2.3 Critical path analysis 32 3 Getting started, planning and other stuff 35 3.1 Doing nothing 37 3.2 Continuing to do nothing whilst looking like doing something 38 3.3 Managing the risk of being caught doing nothing 39 3.4 The business case 39 3.5 Phases of a project 40 3.6 Go/not even if I can marry Claudia Schiffer situations 45 3.7 Baling out 45 4 Graphs, GANTT charts and similar time wasting activities 47 4.1 Graphs and GANTT charts 49 4.2 Costs 49 4.3 Slush funds 50
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